ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
