Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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