i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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