Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
