im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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