Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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