If i come over, it means nothing
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
