Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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