just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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