I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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