Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
