There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
