Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
