I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
