Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We are all done wearing pants today
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
