I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
