Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
