I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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