maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I can't turn off my feet"
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
