There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
