i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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