Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
