told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
