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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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