Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
