whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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