that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
