butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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