she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize