Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
