and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I'm really busy with my period
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