Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
