Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
