I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize