why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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