I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
