whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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