We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
