it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
