There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Drunk is not a location!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
