What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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