I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The adults are the big ones right?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
