Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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