READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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