idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
