Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
