We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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