I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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