I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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