id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
