Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
