Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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