nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
she peed on how many people?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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