I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
