I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
