this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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