69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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