Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
