I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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