I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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