just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This is my gift to your gina
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
